The Guy Rules
We always hear the girls' "rules". Here are
a few from the male side.
These are our rules! Please
note: these are all
numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down. We need it
up, you need it down. You don't
hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports: it's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. ASK for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it! Please!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want
help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in
an argument. In fact, all comments
become null and void after 3
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes
you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us
how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have
to say during commercials...
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions.
Neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
default settings. Peach, for example,
is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We
will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer
to, expect an answer you don't
want to hear.
1. When we have to go
somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss
such topics as hunting, football, or motor sports.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape (round IS a shape!)
Thank you for reading this. Yeah, I know, I'll
be sleeping on the couch tonight;
did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping...